changing lightbulbs
Wade Hodges had a post which reminded me of these 'how many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb' jokes from The Unauthorized Guide to Choosing a Church by Carmen Renee Berry.
I started to just quote her Church of Christ version of the answer to that profound question, but to be fair, I listed all her versions of the answer.
Since I really have had little or no background with any 'group' beside the Church of Christ, I really don't get many of the other answers like others probably do.
Q: How many Churches of Christ members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Where is the scriptural authority for a lightbulb?
Q: How many postmodernists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Each and every one of us.
Q: How many Catholic nuns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The entire convent. The Reverend Mother to compose a homily for the occasion of the lightbulb changing while the rest of the nuns to raffle off the old one.
Q: How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to found an organization for the preservation of the old bulb.
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God will change the bulb when it's predestined to be changed.
Q: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the lightbulb, and 16 million to boycott the maker of the old bulb for bringing darkness into the church.
Q: How many United Methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a lightbulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb (or light source, or nondark resource), and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent flourescent, three-way, long-life and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
Q: How many Assembly of God church members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--he already has his hands in the air.
Q: How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the lightbulb has chosen an alternative light style?
I started to just quote her Church of Christ version of the answer to that profound question, but to be fair, I listed all her versions of the answer.
Since I really have had little or no background with any 'group' beside the Church of Christ, I really don't get many of the other answers like others probably do.
Q: How many Churches of Christ members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Where is the scriptural authority for a lightbulb?
Q: How many postmodernists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Each and every one of us.
Q: How many Catholic nuns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The entire convent. The Reverend Mother to compose a homily for the occasion of the lightbulb changing while the rest of the nuns to raffle off the old one.
Q: How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to found an organization for the preservation of the old bulb.
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God will change the bulb when it's predestined to be changed.
Q: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the lightbulb, and 16 million to boycott the maker of the old bulb for bringing darkness into the church.
Q: How many United Methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a lightbulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb (or light source, or nondark resource), and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent flourescent, three-way, long-life and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
Q: How many Assembly of God church members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--he already has his hands in the air.
Q: How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the lightbulb has chosen an alternative light style?
posted by Glenn at 2/26/2006 04:21:00 PM
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